During my absence many things have happened.
I do not know if I explained the "new" work situation, but essentially my workload has double (sometimes tripled) thanks to the company using more AI systems. If I explained it in the previous post in 2025, then good. If not, I'll explain later. But yeah, I am not happy with A.I. in general.
Secondly we lost Zeena. During the holidays era when we went in to get her checked, the vet discovered a lemon-sized growth in the lower part of her body.
No treatment possible, no removal, no chimotherapy. I mean I inquired, and she "amused" me by answering frankly and boldly, but at this stage, like she said, it would have cost thousands upon thousands of dollars, and even she said the chances of survival were extremely unlikely.
So it was now a question of time before the inevitable. All we could do was to make her as comfortable as possible, and be there for her to make sure she was eating and drinking water.
Like in all terminal illnesses of the genre, there were good days, and there were bad days.
On one week about 3-4 weeks ago (or so) I essentially was able to "save" her life because she had stopped eating for over days days. My wife had to go to the office (because her &$%#^%* company f0rces their employees to come in at least 3 days a week), but I worked from home 100% so I was able to monitor her. I essentially tried every single food and treat and creamy snacks to feed Zeena.
At first she would like the creamy treats. Not the best nutriments, but at least it was something. Then she would lick the canned wet food... Then she actually ate a little bit of the canned food.
Then I moved on to solid treats, She would eat 2 or 3, then maybe 6 or so. Bear in mind this was through the course of many hours in between, over the span of 3 days or so.
After this I moved to small regular kibble food. Again, just a couple at first. Then I moved on to a "deluxe" kind of food we had bought, and she was slowly eating that.
After 4 days she was now almost eating regularly. She wasn't eating as much as she once did, but she was eating, and she would come and visiti me at the top of the stairs when she'd hear me come from the basement, and I would feed her more canned food, creamy treats, anything she was able to intake.
After that she started moving better, even "skipping" around. If I hadn't been there that week to try to feed her every time she'd come out of hiding, she surely would not have lasted any longer.
Anyway the whole point is that towards the weekend of Febuary 21 2026 things were beginning to deteriorate fast. She had lost a lot of weight, stopped grooming herself, could barely make a sound... and had once again stopped eating. I tried everything again (as quickly explained above), but she would barely have a lick or two of the creamy treats. No real food was ingested. We have a vet appointment for Febuary the 28th planned, but we had to call the vet to see what was happening.
So since her life had become that of pain and suffering, and she wasn't eating, and quite possibly not drinking, we made the appointment for end of life.
Listen I have went through my share of personal loss. My grand parents, my school teachers, my previous cats, my fiend (who was 1 year younger than me), my father, one of his wives... But it is gut wrentching every single time.
I won't go into any additional details at this time but please be warned I may and will be talking about her a lot in the future. For like all cats, she had a distinct personality, and was quite unique. For one thing she was the cat of a thousand names. I mean her name was Zeena, but years and years ago we also called her fluffy. Then we'd call her blacky. Because she snored when in deep sleep, we'd call her wheezy. Sometimes we'd call her sneezy... Stinky... you get the picture.
Zeena was adopted at about 9 months old. She was a short haired black cat who was very affectionate because she had abandonment issues (she had already been through 3-4 households before us) but she did not like being held in our arms (except at the end of her last days, which I will get back to another time).
A few weeks after she was brought home with us and started eating our very good cat food (we never buy the cheap stuff), she turned into a super fluffy black cat. SHe looked double her size because of her thick fur!
Anyway I just wanted to write a post to explain to you all why I haven't been doing anything recently much online.
More busy than ever at work, and in grief due to Zeena's passing.
Before you start saying "it's just a cat", I will remind you that about what my wife has always said about me: "You have no empathy for humans but it is one hundred fold for all animals". Yeah, I prefer and try to save all lifeforms pretty much above that of the common mortal human.
I do not have a lot of photos of Zeena taken from my digital camera(s), because most of the photographs were taken with our cell phones.
She was almost 16 years young when she crossed the rainbow bridge into the great beyond.
I've been saying this alot recently: I do not think this is "adieu". I think this is more of a "goodbye" and I will see her again someday.
I don't remember if I ever also mentioned my near death experience about 2-3- years ago? If I did well good, and if not, I'll get into it another time. But suffice it to say that over the past 2 or so years, with all the deaths around us, I have begun having a crisis of spirituality. I think this was also triggered by my non-reconciliation with the state of utter nothingness.
I'll keep you posted when I re-start doing the BBB stuff. I was thinking about editing a few things today, but a recent series of quick power surges here at home means I need to re-program some machines (music gear) which have lost all the little tinkering I had been doing over the last 2 days.
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